I have read two items in my local Church newsletters which brought a smile, see if they make you smile also.
Blackmail
One Sunday the minister announed to his congregation, "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons.....
a £100 sermon that lasts five minutes;
a £50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes:
and a £20 sermon that lasts a full hour.
Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver".
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SHAMPOO
I don't know why I didn't realise this sooner. It's the shampoo we use in the shower.
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY". No wonder I have been gaining weight. I am getting rid of the shampoo and am going to use dishwashing liquid instead. It's label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE". Problem solved.
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